


gay gay homosexual gay: the novel

by jigglyboi



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, ayo this shit gay, just general fluff/angst, pining dumbasses, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jigglyboi/pseuds/jigglyboi
Summary: shane and the farmer are pining. that's it. the farmer's named tyler. they're both grumpy assholes but like, it's all love, baby.
Relationships: Shane (Stardew Valley)/Original Character(s), Shane/Male Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Player (Stardew Valley)
Kudos: 17





	1. omg they meet

**Author's Note:**

> the chapters range between super short and pretty long bc i don't care. lol

tyler had lived at the farm for two weeks now. most of the daylight was spent cleaning up, what with the condition his old man’s farm was left. at nights, he liked walking through cindersap forest to unwind. occasionally, he noticed the porch light on into the dead hours of the night at the ranch nearby. whoever lived there must stay out late. he had been at the lake for almost an hour. the fish weren't biting, but his mind was racing. it would be summer soon, and he'd have to figure out how to work with all the new seasonal crops-- _did he have the money yet for his plans? was his axe due for a sharpening? and what's up with the caves that hes heard such crazy stories about?_

his thoughts quickly abandon fishing. maybe it’s just bad luck, but the lake is too still tonight. maybe a drink would ease the nerves. hopefully the bar is open at this hour. sure enough, it was, the lively music emanating from the jukebox in the corner contrasting smartly with the atmosphere of the cityfolk. a blonde woman peered sullenly into a tall, empty glass. a portly man sipped at an ale while reading a paper. a dark-haired man leaned against the wall on the far side of the counter, defensively leering out at the others. only gus, bright as ever, welcomed the farmer.

“what brings you in at such an hour? working yourself to death these days?”

“couldn’t sleep. get me something to knock me out.”

the bartender chuckles, a look gleaming in his eye, as he reaches for the crystal. shortly after, a dark and pungent drink is placed in front of tyler.

“just this once. on the house.”

tyler cheers himself to a hard days work, and takes a generous gulp. it's vile. it's perfect. the dark-haired man seems to smirk as he coughs.


	2. flower dance /p

tyler spends more time at the bar since his visit. he enjoys the quiet atmosphere, the soft music. he typically only goes after every other store in town has already been shut up for the night. this late at night, most seats are empty, save for a select few. the blonde woman, it seems, never leaves. not once has her seat ever been occupied by someone else. the portly man comes and goes, sometimes he chats with the bartenders if he’s feeling particularly spry. and, like the blonde, the leery man in the corner has never been found away. tyler supposes, if a bar is the only communal “hub” in this town, it’s easy to become an alcoholic. 

over the next week, he learns these folks’ names. 

it seems pam is known for her home absence, unsurprisingly. the large man is the town blacksmith, clint. the other fellow is more reserved than the others. despite the easy gossip in this town, there’s little known about shane. he’s an asshole, most say. they don’t bother him. 

tyler is inclined to dismiss them. 

about a week later, a town-wide message is sent out. there will be a traditional dance tomorrow morning, a reminder to those participating. it’d be disrespectful for anyone to ignore such an invite. 

tyler finds himself the next morning in a wrinkled white button-up, paired with his cleanest jeans. his suitcase is definitely lacking in the whole clothing department. 

the sun is warm on the late spring day. children in oversized formal wear already muddy from the forest. in pairs, the adults of the town dance to the portable music. 

gravitating away from the crowds, tyler moves toward the catered tables. a familiar face shows through the bouquets. shane reflects tyler, standing near the tables, awkwardly watching the other townsfolk. 

“hey, what do you know about this whole tradition?” tyler weakly attempts conversation, trying to be anything but a stranger to everyone here. 

shane sneers, confused. 

“i hardly know you. why are you talking to me?” 

“because i hardly know you. i see you every day, asshole. at least give me your name.” 

he looks surprised tyler hasn't left yet. his reaction quickly dissipates as his expression changes back to indifference. 

“shane. now leave me alone.” 

he walks briskly away from the gathering crowd as the dance comes to an end. 

tyler isn’t shocked -- he’s heard of the man’s attitude plenty. privately, he’s reveling in his success. he’s heard shane talk. it’s a start. 


	3. shots shots shots

the first day of summer is a whole lot of cutting down old crops and hauling buckets of shit. it’s hard work. it sucks. it’s days like this that make tyler regret leaving his easy office job. 

whatever. he rewards himself with a trip to the saloon. by now, hes aware of most of the folks schedule’s-- he knows shane will be there tonight. 

why he’s so desperate to figure this man out, he doesn’t know. he’s willing to compromise, to attempt something. obviously he isn’t just the rude bump in the mud everyone says. he reminds tyler a bit of himself, even.

the stool next to the man is empty. it wouldn't be wise to try and fill it. 

tyler isn't wise. he takes his seat. orders something strong. faces shane. 

“what do you want?”

“whats your poison? whiskey? rum?”

he pauses for thought, expecting, maybe, some mischief at play. 

“whiskey.”

tyler orders them each a shot.

“i know you’ve got a farm. seen you at the ranch. here’s to the first day of a new season.” he knocks his own back after handing the other glass over. for the first time, he’s caught a grin on shane’s face. 

“well, new guy, i like your style.” 

they ease into a shallow conversation, opening up with each drink. 

each new discovery is like unburying treasure. tyler has, at the end of the day, found out that shane’s laugh sounds like pure joy, that his smile is widest when he’s drunk, and his cheeks flush when he rambles. 

lying in bed, listening to the frogs and crickets sing, he doesn’t know how to process his evening. he’s found a friend in this town, someone who doesn’t expect anything of him. a wonderfully frustrating, puzzle of a friend. his last thoughts as he drifts off are of knowing that tomorrow he’ll see shane again.


	4. when the midlife crisis hits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's a little longer lol sorz

tyler spent hours tossing and turning that night. the sheets were too hot, the noise of the forest irritating. finally, he threw the sheets off and headed to the front door. 

nights like these, he decided to go fishing. if sleep wouldn’t find him, he’d go find it. the sounds of the water would hopefully knock him out.

at the cindersap pond, he found a familiar face. quietly, he dropped his tackle on shore and walked out onto the pier. the rattling boards combined with his heavy work boots prevented him from being discreet. 

"tyler?"

"you're out late" 

"could say the same to you"

tyler falls onto the planks, stretching his legs over the water. its hard to ignore all the empty cans glinting beside the lantern. shane catches his eye, passes him a beer.

"you ever feel stuck? trapped in some hole you can't climb out of?" 

he doesn't know what to say. he looks distantly at shane. 

"every day is the fucking same. I can't do it. its always working, drinking, and taking care of the animals, and it always has been and it always will be, until I die."

"shitty way of looking at it." 

shane takes a long drink before tossing the can behind him. 

"it's all fucking shitty. I can't do it" he repeats. 

“you have been, though. n you will.”

“that’s stupid”

“that’s life. stupid. it’ll change, but it’ll always be stupid.”

shane seems to find this sufficient. he groans, adds the can to the pile, and flops back. tyler lies back, next to him. they chat for a good while, about life, about the city, about plans. eventually, tyler’s responses turn into mumbles, then silence.

"hey tyler?"

no response. he looks over. tylers finally asleep.

he lets him sleep for a few minutes. it’s late, after all. who knows how hard he’s working during the day. shance reaches for his arm. tyler stirs a bit.

"hey, if you need to crash at my place you're more than welcome. I don't want you rolling into the water in your sleep or anything" 

"yeah, if that's okay. thanks"

they gather their shit and head to the ranch. tyler’s here often enough he’s begun to familiarize the scent. the hay bales in the side room, the fireplace, marnie’s fruity perfume, someone’s cigarettes. 

tyler crashes on the couch next to the fire, passing out instantly. shane goes back to his room.

shane wakes up before the rest of the house, maybe a little worried about tyler. he doesn’t want him to sneak out or get jumped by marnie or anything. 

some bacon and eggs sizzle in a cast iron. marnie is the next to wake- she expresses pride in his eagerness, not yet seeing tyler in the other room. jas is the first to notice, asking who the man is on their couch. 

the noise wakes Tyler as the family talks. he stretches out, getting Shane's attention from the kitchen.

"morning, sunshine" he greets the man sarcastically. 

tyler grumbles.

"your stuff's in my room, whenever you were heading out."

"damn. getting rid of me so soon?"

“i mean, unless you didn’t wanna. i made food, by the way.” 

“hell yeah.” 

they eat, but tylers still out of it. it’s only been like five hours since they came home; not a ton of sleep. when shane goes back to his room to game, ty flops on his bed, arms stretched behind his head, eyes closed. 

"your animals are gonna need you" 

"they'll live. are you trying to get rid of me?"

"by the way, you're chatty when you're tired, yknow?"

"ugh. sorry." tyler runs his hand over his face.

"no no, like, its fine. you never really talk about yourself. it was nice." 

bit of time passes as they do their own thing.

"shane" 

"yeah?"

tyler reaches a hand out to manly grab Shane's hand. 

"thanks, man. for helping me out"

"pft. thank  _ you _ for not getting sick of me- yet."

"whatever. douche." 

"asshole."


	5. chickens but theyre sad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i originally only wrote this for a comic i drew so it's really lazy. but hey check out the comic if you want on my tumblr

[comic link :3](https://gelatingem.tumblr.com/post/642061610441179136/uhhhhhh-idk-ive-had-this-scene-stuck-in-my-head)

when he was at marnies one morning, the discussion lightly switched to shane and his interests.

"hi tyler ! how are the chickens doing?" 

"been great, actually. mayo laid her first egg"

"that’s nice! well, you know, shane has bought a couple hens of his own, he loves those gals. im sure he'd love to tell you more about them" marnie gives him a knowing look. oh no. 

At the bar, tyler mentions the chickens as marnie suggested. 

"so, marnie told me you got some chicks of your own? tell me about them" 

Shane's face Lights Up. you won't  _ believe _ how sweet they all are, he says. hes even managed to breed out the speckles in a family and breed a full coat of  _ blue  _ feathers in another species. he sells them, so he doesn't get too attached, but he has a certain sweet pea named charlie who loves fresh corn and pets. 

"you should really stop over next time you're in the area, I'll give you a tour of the coop." 

"sounds like a plan"

on a sunday morning, tyler stopped by. jas answered the door, meekly telling him shane was with the chickens right now, sorry. 

"can you show me where the chickens are? I'd really like to see shane right now"

jas looks a little nervous, knowing shane probably won't appreciate the breach in privacy. but she points to the door off the kitchen anyways.

"thank you jas" he smiles at her "I won't be long"

he opens the door carefully, not sure what he's expecting. shane is sitting against the far wall with an old white hen in his lap. 

its winter, and tyler is bundled up: a long heavy jacket over a black turtleneck. shane must have been distressed, as hes barefoot, in only a t shirt. 

"shane"

he only glances up for a second before returning his gaze to the hen. tyler slowly moves to sit besides him.

"they said it would get better." his voice is gravely, as if hes been crying. "ive done everything right. I don't drink anymore, I go to therapy, I'm spending more time with jas." he shivers a bit. "why is it still hard?"

tyler takes his coat off

"hey, lean forward" 

he wraps it around shanes shoulders. on him, it drapes on the ground. 

"I dont know man. there's always gonna be bad days. m sorry." 

shane leans into tyler. despite the solemn mood in this coop today, his stupid gay ass blushes s little maybe. 

"s'alright. thanks for coming" 

"so. would you mind introducing me to charlie?"


	6. everyone's least favorite heart event

tyler was used to shanes routine by now. after work he'd drop by the bar for a couple hours before heading home for the night. most fridays, tyler spent the night with him, having a beer himself and maybe playing a game of pool with the boys. 

for whatever reason, shane wasnt at the bar tonight. 

gus hadnt seen him that day. curious if maybe he was running late, tyler headed over to joja, where morris remarked that shane hadnt shown that morning either.

fuck. how can a grown man go missing? 

maybe he overslept? maybe he's with jas tonight? 

was there a game tyler had forgotten about? shane has never strayed from his usual without letting tyler know. it seems extreme, the whites of his knuckles betraying his calm demeanor. 

where would he go? 

the forest.

shane knows the woods like the back of his hand. if he ever went missing, that's where you'd find him.

he did his best to not sprint through town. he already had the attention of the folks, he didn't want to give them more reasons to stare. 

once he hit the trees, he ran. he yelled. 

he could barely hear himself over the spring storm. it was just barely warm enough to rain this early in the season. 

past the pond, he found him.

shane. lying on his back in the mud, and an empty cardboard box beside him. 

"shane?" tyler called out, getting on his knees to reach his face. he was asleep, soaking wet. 

tyler reached around the others shoulders, pulling him into a sitting position. shane started to stir, mumbling, asking what was going on.

when he saw tyler, something flickered across his face. it was like pain, and disgust, and fatigue. 

"get the hell away from me, you-" 

he held his stomach, shoving at tyler with his other hand. 

"I'm not doing this again. dude, you're soaked-you gotta get home. I was looking everywhere for you-why are you even out here?" 

tyler didn't take offense from shane. hes dealt with him long enough to know what's up. but he gives him his space, nonetheless. they sit facing each other, two feet apart. 

"why? I, I didn't- I don't. want this. im tired. yknow." he looks dejectedly at the dirt, clutching at his jacket for warmth. "theres nothing in it for me anymore. what, right here, is stopping me from diving off the cliff right now?"

tyler doesnt say anything. their eyes meet. Shane's look angry, hazy.

"nothing."

there's disgust in his voice. with himself, with the world. 

"I can't make your choices for you." tyler speaks softly. "but I like you here. im sorry"

"bullshit."

"'s'not, really."

shane murmurs angrily in response.

"hey, cmon." tyler stands, offering a hand to shane.

"take your sweatshirt off" tys already got his jacket in his hand, better suited for the rain. shane silently trades the other man for his jacket. he sways slightly, but he stops shivering. 

"you're going to the doctor."

  
  


the next day, shane finds himself on Tyler's doorstep. as soon as he was discharged, he headed towards the farm. he decided he owed the farmer an apology--he also just didn't want to see marnies look of disappointment. gossip spreads fast in a small town. 

tyler is awaken by sharp knocking. the hell? whos here this early in the morning? with a glance out the window, he catches a peek of the sunrise behind swaying branches. 

"oh. shane. whats up?"

"I. uh." he looks away, crossing his arms. "wanted t say sorry. because of last night"

"dude, i- here, come inside, I know its freezing-"

shane uncomfortably walks into Tyler's living room. He's never been over here before. he takes a second to take it in, the brick fireplace, the armchairs, the filled bookshelf. a pup is pawing at the space under the fridge. 

"anyways, dude. don't apologize. its alright. I'm just glad you're safe"

"that bad, huh? to be honest, I can't remember much of what happened. I only know harvey had me on a twelve hour hold and is getting me a therapist." 

shane laughs softly, trying to make light of the situation. the house falls silent, just the crackling of the fireplace behind them. tyler desperately wants to reach out and comfort him. he looks so young, hiding in his jacket, avoiding eye contact. his cheeks are flushed from the cold wind. its almost cute. 

tyler clears his throat. 

"shane, can i. do you mind if i-" with a huff, he gives shane a big bear hug. the shorter man stiffens before awkwardly placing his hands on tylers sides.

"thanks for being here"

they relax into each other, neither quite comfortable with affection, but learning together. 


	7. w-what if we held hands ... and we were both boys ...

"knock knock." 

tyler leans against shane's doorframe. hes sitting on his bed, a book open in his lap. 

"figured the weather's getting nicer, would be a waste to sit inside. would you, maybe, wanna go fishing?"

shane throws him an unpleasant look. 

"uhh. I'll watch. you know I'm not the greatest, though."

ty purses his lip in thought.

"I'll be at the docks if you change your mind" 

he flips shane a quick smile n sets off to the cindersap pond.

about an hour later, shane jogs up to the pier.

"was starting to think you wouldn't show."

"had to deal with jas. couldn't find her favorite shoes."

"she's a sweetie. here, my shits out under the tree, come on"

the two walk towards the big tree that jas and shane typically play under. he starts pulling something out of a basket leaning against the trunk. it's not quite bait n tackle.

"did you bring,, a blanket?"

"you'll see"

under the blanket is two small glasses, and then a bottle of wine. there's no label, only a small date written at the base. he swirls it in the bottle before handing it to shane.

"its homemade, too"

"we aren't fishing, are we?" 

tyler grins. 

"surprise?" 

\------

shane isnt a fan of sweet drinks, but tyler didn't wanna carry home a sad, half empty bottle. he ended up drinking it mostly himself. not being much of a drinker, he's pretty tipsy by the time the sun falls.

"hey, shane, c'mere. look !! " 

he's bubblier than usual. shane finds it endearing, how excitable he's gotten. 

tyler lies in the grass away from the tree. he invites shane to stargaze with him.

reluctantly, he pries himself away from the tree he was leaning against. the grass isn't as soft outside the shade. the dirt is cool in the late spring air. shane suspects tyler isn't quite feeling it, only because of the hot flush on his cheeks. 

"can you see orion? over there, the three in a row?"

Tyler guides shane around the sky, teaching him about the constellations. 

"theres the little one, I always forget what its called. she sounds like royalty." 

he's got this childlike wonder in his eyes, recalling these facts from his youth. its different from how he typically holds himself; distant yet polite. 

shanes feels like hes caught himself a little bottle of starlight right next to him in the grass. 

its rare to see tyler so vulnerable. yet here they are, laying side by side in a clearing in the woods, only a foot between them.

eventually, tyler grows quiet. his hand finds shanes as his breathing becomes deeper. his touch is light and warm.

shane is caught off guard. its only a small gesture, but he doesn't know what to think. 

_ does he know what he's doing? what do I do? _

they lie still for a few minutes, before shane clears his throat. he slides his hand out from beneath tylers to push himself into a sitting position. 

tylers eyes flick open. he didn't seem to notice he had even grabbed shane. 

shane coughs again.

"its probably best if we don't spend the night here. bugs n stuff, yknow?"

he awkwardly scrambles for any excuse.

"yeah, yeah. your place?"

again, caught off guard by the suggestion of spending the night together. crazy. but if he brought tyler home, there's no telling what marnie would think of him. 

"uh, probably not. its late, and i don't wanna bother jas."

"oh, okay. well, if you wanna grab the gear, i'll pack up and we can head to the farm?"

of course shane isnt upset by this decision. he did say he couldn't go home--why is he lying? why had he expected tyler to suggest they head their separate ways? but why-why didn't he? 

maybe shanes just nervous. 

maybe a little. 

after being given a satisfied nod, tyler stumbles back to the tree, stuffing the blanket back into its basket. 

shane grabs the poles from the pier, meeting up with tyler at the edge of the woods. he needs a little extra time to step over the fallen branches, but shane holds him steady, making enough small talk to keep him awake.

he's walking straighter by the time they reach his porch. the porch light casts a warm glow on him, flattering his jawline and toned shoulders. 

shane pauses a beat when tyler steps in front of him. he's. pretty. 

"you coming?" 

the blush on shane's cheeks isn't from the cold this time.

tylers always been a little softer when he's tired. he talks more, he hums a little to himself. some days, he'd come to the ranch and nap while shane games, just for the company. yet he's never found himself in the reverse situation. yet. 

"yeah you can set it down by the door. here's the bed--don't step on my dog, she likes to lie right by the nightstand." 

the golden retriever lays dutifully by a small table. she looks expectantly at this new potential friend. 

shane sits politely on the foot of the bed, untying his sneakers. tyler's already gotten comfortable, changing into sweats. shane tries to preoccupy himself, lest his gaze be met in the mirror. hes seen tyler shirtless before a dozen times -- why is it suddenly harder to look away? 

tyler's the first into bed with a heaving breath. 

shane reclines slowly, uncertainly. casually.

its pitch black in the cabin, save for a candle besides tyler. the light halos around him; hes golden.

for just a moment, shane lies in awe. 

until tyler's breathing evens out, and his hands reach for shanes again. 

this is childish, the way he's flustered, staring.

"shane?" tyler cuts the silence with a soft question.

"yeah?"

"thanks for. for spending time with me. and shit. I know we're both just assholes stuck in our ways, but its nice to talk with you anyways. n im sorry, for lying to you about fishing."

"I promise you, I would've hated fishing anyways."

shane can hear the shy smile in tyler's voice.

"you're not an asshole. if anything, I should be thanking  _ you.  _ i'm sorry if i came off as rude when we first met" 

shane squeezes ty's hand a little tighter, interlocking their fingers. its hard to tell in the dark, but it feels like they're making eye contact. 

  
  


"I never noticed your eyes were green before."

"and yours are brown?"

"yeah, how'd you know?"

"lucky guess"


	8. tyler gets curved ?? not clickbait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst <3

tyler is up first, used to waking up to the soft morning light. its interesting, though, the weight being pressed into his shoulder and abdomen. 

oh. he forgot shane spent the night.

and there he is, snuggled into tylers shoulder, one hand on his stomach. his hair tickles tylers neck, looking almost purple in the light. 

tyler lays his hand over shanes and stretches as much as he can, trying to not disturb the other. his breath is warm over his chest, his face void of expression. tyler lies back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling. he listens to the chickens cluck and waits.

with one deep breath, shane settles into consciousness. his eyes flicker open to find tylers hand on his. shane traces the back of tylers hand with his thumb tenderly. he smiles to himself. 

"good morning" tyler mumbles.

shane starts, pulling his hand away.

tyler can see the embarrassed flush on his cheeks.

"sorry, I thought you were still asleep"

"nah, been awake a while. can't really get up though, with you on me" tyler laughs softly, stretching his arms behind his head. 

the other sits upright. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" he cuts himself off, unable to finish his sentence.

"you're . sorry?" tyler repeats.

shane looks away. 

"shane. please don't apologize. if anything, that was on me. im sorry if I, uh, made it weird. guess I misunderstood."

"you?" he forces a laugh. "okay. sure. then I accept your apology." 

they make eye contact, albeit a bit awkwardly. 

"whatever. asshole." ty playfully punches shanes shoulder.

they smile. shane feels sick. 

he can't do this, not right now. 

shane doesn't deserve someone like tyler. he deserves to be alone. to be forgotten.

he doesn't want to lie, but its for the better. 

tyler deserves better. 


	9. trains???

two weeks later. 

tyler still stops by, at the ranch, at the bar. he never stopped visiting. but he felt more.. distant. the conversations were shallower. briefer. 

as always, tyler stopped in the kitchen after chatting with marnie about her newest selection. shane leaned against the counter, sipping at a dark coffee, eyeing ty from across the way. 

"hey man, hows it going?"

tyler flops into a stool on the opposite side of the island.

"did you catch the game last night? tunnelers won big, you should've seen the saloon- man, clint was freaking out-"

"are you okay?"

shane catches him mid sentence. tyler fumbles for a moment, the aloofness on his face mixing with traces of vulnerability. the emotion fades into forced confusion. 

"course. why?"

"did you really just ask me about 'the game'? that what it's, come down to?" 

"didn't realize there was something wrong with that. thought you were a big fan."

"you're ridiculous"

he takes a moment to refill his coffee, his back to tyler. once his coffee is set, he leans into the counter. the look on his face is pained as he glares through the other. 

"what happened, man?" 

the facade on tylers face cracks. his eyes narrow, his easy smile lowers into a taught frown. 

"'m not gonna try to hit on you, or whatever. im sorry if I ever made you feel weird, I'm tryna be better"

"hit on m- what? fuck. I really fucked things up, huh?"

"no, dude, its okay" he catches himself slipping into a softer voice, as he does when he needs to reassure shane. he clears his throat before continuing. 

shane interrupts. 

"I lied, okay? I lied. it  _ was _ fine. i. tyler, it was always fine."

his voice implies everything was more than _ fine _ . his hands reach across the counter. shane, pleading, with eyes wide and hair disheveled--tyler wishes he believed it. 

"look. I don't know what you're tryna do here, but I ain't a fucking toy; I ain't being played with. get your shit together before I see you again. I'm not fucking with this right now. I'll see you around."

his words are a punch to the gut. the coffee tastes sour in shanes mouth. 

_ i really fucked up _

halfway home, tyler sends a quick text to marnie. 

_ If he even touches a beer tonight, give me a ring.  _

he doesnt provide context. she responds brightly, saying that, of course, she’d be happy to. 

It doesnt take long before his phone goes off again. 

“Shane, sweetheart, you have a visitor.”

marnie pushes open his bedroom door. shanes sat beside a six pack, nursing a warm beer while watching some movie. he knows whos here; who else would it be? 

“Tell him to fuck off.”

“You can do that yourself. He’s in the kitchen for ya. and watch your mouth--jas is playing in the living room.” 

Of course its tyler. Mad at him for for being so wishy-washy, yet he shows up the same night. stupid. hypocrite. jerk.

“Get lost.”

“Yeah. no-can-do. sorry.” 

“What do you want”

“C’mere. lemme show you something.”

Shane is reluctant to follow him, but he knows it cant be bad. he trusts him, despite all the shit theyve been through. 

a silky brown horse whinnies as it sees ty. It shakes its head, the lead swinging, threatening to whip the two. 

“easy, girlie.” he unties her and faces shane. “you ever ridden?”

“uh. no. why did you take your horse? “

“was in a hurry. hop on.”

It takes a moment before shane figures that one out. he proudly grabs the horn after he’s up. 

“Hey quick thinker, you gotta move it over, unless you want me grabbing the reins from around ya.” 

“Right. Yeah.” 

_ hes being so casual.  _

“alrighty, cmon girl.”

_ hes not over it. _

They ride in silence for what feels like forever. Past the farm, a trail leads further into the mountains. this place is unfamiliar, but the summer air is soft and sweet. It lies heavy in shanes lungs with unrelenting regret. with his arms wrapped tight around tyler, its hard to feel any sort of pleasant in his predicament. 

They ease into a trot as they come into an opening. 

“Good, we’re early.”

“the train tracks?”

“youll see. the train should be here in about five minutes anyway. hop off”

theyve stopped near a dilapidated building, overgrown in weeds. distantly, a horn blares. 

“what are you doing?”

“okay, so, quick pointers- grab the fucking handle when you jump and keep your legs up or you’ll get run over. Ill go first and help pull you in, good?”

“the fuck are you planning?”

“there it is. only a quarter mile til the next tunnel, so we gotta be quick.”

with a last scream of the horn, a train barrels out of the western tunnel. tyler runs along it for a moment, easily leaping into an open compartment. with a strong tug, shane tumbles in beside him. 

“What the Fuck was that?” out of breath, he holds his head in shock.

“oh yeah, uh so, this train heads to zuzu city from the desert. i come out here sometimes, cheaper than the bus, yknow, and a lot faster.”

shane catches a water bottle thrown from tylers bag. 

“thanks. so, how long am I gonna be stuck on this thing?”

“two hours there, two hours back, and it stops in the city for one to unload. but hey, feel free to leave whenever you want” he gestures grandly to the open door, and the debris flying by. 

shane spends a minute calming his breathing as he reels over the initial shock. 

“shane. can we talk?”

tyler stands against a wall, arms crossed. 

“yeah. ‘course.” he murmurs a quick response before moving further into the compartment. 

“can you tell me whats really up? promise i wont freak out this time. just kinda wanna hear it.”

“i, yeah.” shane has to collect his thoughts before proceeding. tyler watches him patiently. “i did lie, back then, i guess, when i said it was a mistake, when we were-. i just dont think i deserve it? like, im so fucking stuck, ty. im a dumb old man who cant stop drinking, cant stop disappointing his kid. i dont wanna disappoint you too.”

“shane--” tyler crosses the compartment to sit beside him. “it aint much, but. got a secret to tell you. i snorted coke for years, when i was younger. shit wrecked me. even in rehab, i -- i know what it feels like. to be dependent, to feel useless. course i still do, sometimes. if theres anyone out there that you think you deserve, hell, it oughta be me.”

“tyler, im so sorry-”

“i dont want your pity, hypocrite.” hes gone quieter, his insult lighthearted. “i spent the past two weeks trying to stop caring. about you, n life. i really couldnt, i dont know why, but i’m always thinking of you. i care so much about you, you fucking idiot.” 

shane’s eye are wet as he grabs for tylers hand. the other doesnt reciprocate, instead pulling him into a bear hug. shanes stubble scratches tys cheek. the cool night air tussles their hair. their hands grab tightly, assured. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this is that scene from divergent except homoerotic. also horses. don't know em.   
> lmk more date ideas bc my brain tank is empty <3 ty


End file.
